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1.
Ballroom 03:51
2.
FOMO 04:12
And she is going out tonight and I am staying in and I have never felt so wretched breathless in her wake… I imagine her two hundred miles away behind the bullet-proof perspex  of her pre-club routine. She is pink-lipped PVC a bump of Taylor a shot of Beyonce blue ticks piling up and no time for reply. While I am here,  carb-heavy, jim-jam-ready  haunting these rooms oh so fucking badly I’m meat paste sandwiches and funny uncles ugly as a jailor, picking my nose. While she is red carpet camera flashes: On the list / jump the queue. She is Tank Girl And I am William Hague in a baseball cap Bombay Bad Boy. David Mitchell does a smug monologue on Dave as all the mirrors bevel outwards  and I catch myself stooping, stooping like my father. And I can’t even picture the bar she’s in but it’s probably like 1920s Paris: a razor-wire back-and-forth absinthe green, electrified. And all the blokes are fucking Hemingway: a dashing rugby squad of enfant terribles the enfant terrible of Pre-op Post-feminism the enfant terrible of Lexit Poetics the enfant terrible of Pop-up Vietnamese Street Food the enfant terrible of the Welsh Dark Net Do you think you could get out of my face I am the bottom half of the internet And calm down a little bit? I am the shit Morrissey says in interviews Or are you just gonna get louder and louder? I am Pale male and stale and Not all men Louder and louder I’m Piers Morgan flouncing off the set Louder and louder I’m Piers Morgan flouncing off the set And then…BANG! And you’re gone And now I can’t hear you But I can still feel you And the noise is all gone And now I can’t hear you But I can still feel you And the noise is all gone When I’m thinking about it, it hurts my soul I don’t want to fight it But you'll never know Cos it’s not good for me, this strategy But in time you will see You are free And I am Dec Yes, I’m Dec I’m little Dec hosting the Take Away all on me tod gold hearted and tin-eared a huge Valentines bear from Clinton Cards HUG ME written across my gut pedestaled in a window, half price come March: Hug me
3.
The Beast 03:43
4.
You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist and maybe I envy you your existential DIY; your five month plans; your tightened screws and whitewashed water stains; perhaps the raw compassion that peals through  your riffs on why we shouldn’t laugh about  the things we used to laugh about. But not  the friends you scrub away like dead skin. You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist Go on. Progress. Don that flashgun luminescence to roll across my agrarian hills, vaccinate  the village folk and put the ploughmen  out of work. I meantime might stagger to my feet as a mutton chopped Victorian  parliamentarian, clutch my fob watch  and start to argue for the liberty to do wrong. You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist You Are Making Progress With Your Therapist

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released September 1, 2023

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Gemma Cullingford UK

Gemma Cullingford is a musican and producer from Norwich, UK. Formerly one half of Sink Ya Teeth and bass player in early 00's art rock band KaitO.

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